I'll keep you in my thoughts and pray for only the best with your surgery. 
FrustratedThis may end up being a long-winded entry. As usual, I feel stressed out. I feel like I can never find what is right for me in life; job-wise.
First of all, back in April, I interviewed for this supervisor job at work and got it. The way my company works, there are 5 ambulances on at a time and we had 2 supervisors, in "chase vehicles." They respond on bad calls to back-up a crew if they need extra help. They also do some office work, etc. Occasionally the two of them would get together in a spare ambulance if the sh*t hit the fan... but for the most part, they drive around in their little Ford Explorers and supervise. Originally when they posted the job for the new supervisor, this person would be sharing the one explorer with the other supervisor and run back-ups, etc on their specific work days. This person would also be in charge of our pharmacy; order drugs, handle licensing, keep track of narcotics, etc. Other duties included orientating new employees, making sure people get their protocol to practice in our county, Ouality Assurance of all the run reports & just the normal every day happening during their shift. If someone calls off, this person is responsible for making sure the shift is filled, if someone does something wrong, this person is to discipline accordingly, stuff like that. So I got the job and they told me it is going to be different from originally stated. Now I was going to be on a regular ambulance like before BUT, I am only to run emergencies in the vicinity of my office and run back-ups. We do a fair amount of non-emergency transports, but as a supervisor, they wanted me more available for the other stuff. In my off time, I was to be doing my office duties/paperwork. Ok. I knew from the get-go that would be tough because it's not like they were adding a 6th "extra" ambulance...they were scheduling me on one of the 5 ambulances. So it is like taking 1 ambulance "out of the loop." The reason they did this is because the one supervisor, 2nd in command, didn't want to have to share his Explorer. See, he takes it home every night and drives it on his off time. His wife has a car, but he does not. He drives the company vehicle everywhere. This is someone who did not work his way up the ranks. He worked on our wheelchair vans for a few years, then became the wheelchair division supervisor and then moved right over to EMS supervisor. He never worked full time on the ambulance. He never got a taste for what it was all about. So, whatever... Initially my work schedule was to be Monday & Wednesday 7pm-7am and Saturday 9am-9am. This schedule worked for me, plus it gave the other 2 supervisors some nights off, EXCEPT, with me being on an actual ambulance, occasionally I was on calls and one of them had to come out if another unit needed backup. Within a few weeks, my schedule got changed. I was switched to Monday 3-11, Wednesday 7am-11pm, and still Saturday 9am-9am. They also decided that on Wednesday, between 7am-3pm I would function as a "normal car" because the other two bosses were working their normal workday and could do the back-ups. So already it was changing. A few more weeks go by and they decide that I am just going to function as a normal car all around. I am still a supervisor, but I have to go on every type of call... and do my office work as well WHEN I CAN. We are a busy company. We have 5 911 contracts with cities/townships as well as contracts with 5 local nursing homes. On mondays & wednesdays I RARELY get to go to my office and do work. Saturdays are my catch up day, but even then, especially during the summer, we have plenty of standby events and it is just too busy to try and do everything. I feel now that I am doing my old job of "regular paramedic" AND my new job of supervisor. Had they left it the original way.. me working in the Explorer and functioning as a supervisor... it would have been great. In the meantime, that 2nd in command guy, throughout the whole summer tried to "pass-off" some of his jobs to me. He tried to put me in charge of vehicle maintenance for half the fleet. And, the big boss made me take over the ambulance schedule; a schedule of 50+ employees who all have requests out the wazooo. I found myself going in ON MY OFF TIME just to get things done. Also, whenever I was working and someone called off for the next day, if no one would come in, they would try to force me to work. I don't mind occasionally taking one for the team, but I do not want anyone FORCING me to do anything when I already work a 48 hour work week. They would also call me on my days off and say "Randy (the boss) needs you to come in and work for a few hours." Ummmm no I am with my nephew right now. They would say stuff like "But you are a supervisor and I need you." Too bad. In the beginning I was said to be getting a 1.00 per hour raise. I am not picky, I thought I would just do it and WOW them and they'd give me more money later. Well, the position changed so much within 3-4 months, that I did not get the opportunity to wow anyone. I also came to find out, that while he gave me a 1.00 per hour raise, he gave raises to everyone else and there are 5 paramedics making only $0.25 per hour less than me and besides being a supervisor I have been there the longest!!! I am not a money hungry person, but that sure as hell did not leave me feeling well-compensated. I felt taken advantage of. I attempted to talk to my boss about this one day and he sorta didn't really even pay attention to me. He kept looking at his computer.. and made mention of things like "We all have had to make some changes. We all have had to adapt." HUH??? All I know is the money he and the 2nd guy make MUST be worth it to them. The company cars they can drive ALL THE TIME must be worth it to them. The extra .25 centers per hour AND all the responsibility is not worth it to me. I interviewed against 4 men for that job and I got it. I am now wondering if it is because they thought they may be able to better "mold" me into their little puppet?? who knows?
I am going to try and talk to my boss again. But, after the luck I had last time, I just don't know what good it will do. I went into this job with so many ideas, so optimistic. And half the things I have wanted to implement have gone down the tubes. I organized an entire orientation program for new employees, which my boss liked, but he doesn't use it because he hires people at the last minute and doesn't have time to send them through an entire 40 hour training program because he needs them to fill in his schedule. Craziness. So, of course, I have been looking in the paper at the classified ads. I am an LPN and a paramedic. I have experience in the hospital, doctors offices AND in an ambulance. I want a job that I LOVE to go to everyday. I know every place has it's disadvantages but to wake up and think "uuuggghhh I don't want to go?" I don't want that anymore. I have spent 6 years at this place and I am starting to see why everyone leaves. The only two who are making a life there are boss 1 & boss 2. And THEY are well-compensated & are able to pass work down to puppets like me. Don't get me wrong. I still have some fun there. I have thought about demoting myself back down to just regular paramedic but I also worry then that they will mess with my schedule and treat me like "low man on the totem pole" because I gave up on that position. I don't know.
I sent in a resume the other day for a position. I just mailed it Tuesday and got a call today. It is for a full time LPN position in a group pediatric office. So, my interview is Monday at 1pm. I will see how it goes, what they pay & if they have benefits. I won't leave the ambulance company unless I think I have something great lined up.
Tonight I am also driving to Pittsburgh for a meeting. These days there are several bridge programs for LPNs to become RNs in an accelerated/non-traditional manner. I found out about this blended learning program. It is home-study but you go once a week to class. I liked that idea because home-study is something I could see myself doing but falling off the wagon without any structure. This way, I report to someone weekly and won't get behind or just forget it. Once I become an RN, there will be soooo many more opportunities for me. This is something I need to do especially now while I am still single and don't have any kids.
Whew. That was a long one. I feel better. See, this is what I missed. I like being able to just come here and type it all out. It makes me feel like I have really vented! Off to look at some other journals!
Hey Sam nice to see you back! I've been slacking off myself lately but now that the weather is getting colder and the pups are both almost through training I'll have more time to get back to journaling. Good luck with the career move, one should never stay in a job they are miserable doing. 
OMG Sam! You certainly have NOT slowed down any, have you??!! Your job makes my head spin 
Thanks Cathy... I am not going to walk away from this job until I have tried to talk to my boss one more time. And, of course, not until I find a job that I would enjoy AND be not be taking a huge pay cut. 6 years is a long time and I had a lot of ideas but some things can never change I guess.
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